Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Locked up, but no key was ever made.
This is the last 15 days we will ever live free.
The last 360 hours
The last 21600 minutes
The last a296000 seconds.
take your last breath. Swallow. Face truth.
Untill now our lives have been sheltered shells we hide beneath and pull our arms and legs into if we get scared.
15 days left in our Jr year and then that shell gets cracked.
Next year we are on our own. We must decide where, what, when, and how to apply ourselfs. we must live and decide on our own with little true guidence.
The year after that we leave. all differnt corners of the continent and globe.
differnt hopes, dreams, and fears
FREEDOM.
this is our own jail cell.
As tough and as locked up new, we have no idea how free we really are, when we have to face the facts, the present time, we are happy little balls of contentness pact neatly inyo little packages tied with a ribbon and placed under the christmas tree.
carefull freedom
-we have summer.
This argument os not entierly true. what will you do this summer? you can not honestly tell me you will not plan, visit, think, or research college.yeah.
I dont know what to tell you
enjoy your 360 hours of freedom. this shits about to hit the fan.
and when it does i will be riding it all the way and loving every minute of it.
Shut the fuck up josh.
Love
Joshua D. Hagan
Sunday, January 16, 2005
My awesome, wicked, hardcore day!
Today i woke up at my normal time of 11:30 and i turned off my robot that wakes me up. i named him greg just the other day actally. So then i took a shower in my solid gold bathtub. i then chose my wardrobe out of my 30 3-piece suits that i own. i think i made the right desicion. so it was breakfast time by then so i made my way down the escolator and by the time i reached the kitchen my cereal was all ready made for me. Boy do i love cereal! i actally kinda live off it. breakfast lunch and dinner some days. so i ate me delicious feast and read the paper. turns out my stocks went up 54 points and you are now reading the blog of a millionare. i wont let all my money go to my head thou, dont worry. So i decided i need an awesome way to celebrate this hardcore morning i was having...so what better then a hardcore afternoon. So i was lounging around till after noon showed up and when it did i had to make a plan. My friend ian decided to go for a fly and stop by my house. We from there decided it was about time to save the world and find ian a job. needless to say, saving the world was much easier then finding ian a job. when i left him he was still on the highway with his little "will work for food" sign. that silly kid. so i came home and layed around some more. I then attepmted to set the world record for number of websites visted in an hour, needless to say. i won. Just about around that time it was time to leave again to have another adventure. Not to go into details due to the CIA having classified information about activtys involoved, i am only aloud to say key words such as. CAR. AREA 51. GAS. TACO BELL. i will say no more. its about time for me to retier. so untill next time....have a awesome wicked hardcore night.
Friday, December 31, 2004
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
no resolutions, no recaps, no regrets. Have a happy new year and i love you all.
DRIVE SAFE
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
These eyes
These eyes have seen good times
And these eyes have seen real lies
And these eyes have made it through
And will make it through much more
Then you could ever keep score
These eyes have made it through death and tragedy
These eyes have made it past life and sensitivity
These eyes have been through think and thin
And they will do it again
They will do it again
These eyes have sparked
These eyes have shinned
These eyes have frowned
These eyes have cried
These eyes will shimmer
These eyes may tear
But they haven't made it past you my dear
No, they haven't made it past you my dear
Sunday, November 14, 2004
just ignore me.
Im dumb.
I wish you to be happy.
I wish you to read this.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
"Run enough and there is nothing to run from anyway"
The solution:.
Ignore this naging feeling of college. Ignore the future. When it screams in your face, scream back. Louder, Stonger, Longer. Bolt your windows lock your doors. Dont belive in the future. This is running.
Run far. Run into the sunset, with your lover in hand.
Run to endless possiblitlys and dont let society tell you otherwise.
These were some possiblitlys proposed to me.
Romanticism.
I wish from the bottom of my heart this was true. I wish from where it counts most, invain.
The signs are all around us, they are in everytime someone fills out a college essay, everytime it is spoken of the coming summer, every time i look at a senior and imagine them on thier own the coming year.
Jim gave me some advice.
LIVE.
That 4 letter word is what need most right now. We are still in this race, we are still moving and striving to be free. We can suceed. If not forever then for this year, and let it live forever in our memories.
We will always have this year.
We owe it to Eric, to Jim, to Josh, to everyone who will be out in the world next year, to everyone who will begin thier lives.
We owe it to them to make this year count to use our freedom and pass freedom on to others.
College is not the end.
College is the beginning.
The rest of your life ahead of you. But not like before wrapped in a neat little bow and signed with a card.
Life lies within the mounds and mounds of possiblities and lessons and what you choose to do with these.
Life will be grand.
Just remeber. Live. And live as much as you can.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
A post, A thought, A concern, A question, A remark, and last fo all, A statement
The days are shorter. Every day carrying forward with a hint of foreshowding. Each showing dispair of the unknown; the future, each showing laughter and life of the past. I am yet to be in the real heat of the fire. I am not the one sprinting with everything i have to the finish. I am just one feeling the nagging concerns of doubt and unsure about the outcomes of life. Of friendships. Of loves. what will become of all this when we leave. life will be different, life is just now becoming differnt. At the moment, I am happy. I am content. Why would we want and go and change all that. People say that " you have got to live in the moment" well, i am living in the moment, i just wish i could keep living...in this moment.
Can we make a deal? i will give everything i own if we can just stop.
Sound fair?
I leave my window open at night. The weather has gotten chilly and often lets a cold breeze into my room. I sleep wraped in my warm blanket. I am content. I am warm. The cold air lets you know you have a weakness. It lets you know you are alive.
People let you know you are alive as well. When you wrap your arms around someone so tight that you can feel their heart beat against yours, not wanting to let go. You know they are your weakness. You know your alive. you know you are whole.
Okay, Okay. You broke me down. New deal: I will give you everything and a half if we can stop.
Thats got to be fair........please.
I can hear cars passing on the highway. I wonder where they are going? I wonder what thier drivers are thinking? You can tell some drivers are going faster then others. Are their destinations more important? Why are they more egar to finish their jorney from point "A" to point "B"? D o they have other more important things to do after this trip?
My questions go unanswered----I think I will live.
It was a good night.
Its late.
Why are blogs dying?
Why are people giving up?
Why does this mean that much to me?
I guess because it shows peoples inner thougths. It shows them out from thier rose colored lenses.
Maybe it just takes too much time for people. I think i will continue. I think posts will now be more freqent. I will try.
Last offer: I will give you my dreams, my thoughts, my feelings, my cares.